This Christmas should be a time of great joy for everyone, sadly however it will be a time of fear for some.
Domestic abuse can be: physical, sexual, financial, or emotional So, if someone is: hurting you; putting you down; calling you names; checking where you go or who you see or talk to; putting pressure on you; keeping all the money or making all the important financial decisions themselves; threatening you; forcing you to have sex in ways you’re not comfortable with; refusing to use contraception; stopping you from seeing family or friends…
…ask for help now… Police 0845 600 5701
National Domestic abuse Helpline 0800 027 1234
Domestic Abuse…NO excuse…
Domestic Abuse and Violence Against Women Partnership – Working Together with Alive Radio 107.3
The article below is featuring in the local press.
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As it says if you are suffering from Abuse or know someone who is, call the Police on 0845 600 5701 or the National domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 027 1234 (24hr).
If you are in this situation or know someone who is, there is hope and a way out.
What follows is a brief interview with a survivor of domestic abuse.
Hello, you lived with domestic abuse for several years, would you mind telling us about it?
The first thing I’d like to say is that during my marriage I didn’t realise I was a victim of domestic abuse. I was under the assumption this included physical abuse and that wasn’t my experience, mine was emotional abuse. My husband appeared the perfect man from the outside, but he was controlling, I was completely isolated. He didn’t approve of my family or friends, constantly wanting me to stop contact with them; he put me down and made me feel completely inferior to him. It felt I was a prisoner in my own home.
Did you think at first that your relationship was normal?
Absolutely, yes. That’s what I really struggled with as I couldn’t believe I had fallen for this man. But thanks to Women’s Aid I realised this is common in victims or abuse. He was incredibly charming, romantic and came across as very caring. This persona stayed in front of other people which made it so difficult as sadly it was the opposite when it was the 2 of us.
When did you realise that you were in an abusive relationship?
Shortly after our wedding, he started talking down to me, I was surprised by how his attitude towards me was changing and when I questioned this, he actually said that now he had me he didn’t have to try anymore and I was stupid not to have realised that. Sadly with domestic abuse, it just gets worse, the more the woman puts up with, the more abusive the man becomes, until it feels like suddenly you are in a relationship where, for example you’re even scared to hang a picture on the wall because of the repercussions.
We know that people stay for a variety of reasons, what were your reasons?
I had got married; I didn’t want to admit that it was going so badly and felt I had to put up with his disgraceful behaviour. And I was told his behaviour was my fault which I did believe at the time. Form the outside it appeared the perfect marriage, so it was also very difficult to admit it was not.
How did you get help?
I had a baby, believing this would “mellow” him a little. Unbelievably he was even worse, which I didn’t think possible. My child actually gave me the courage to leave as I couldn’t have her growing up in an atmosphere like that. It was my Health Visitor that recognised the signs of domestic abuse, which I am so grateful for. She got in touch with Women’s Aid who were absolutely wonderful and they helped build my confidence back and to be my own person again.
How are things now?
Absolutely fantastic. I am the person I was before my marriage. And I would recommend, any woman out there, if they recognise any of what I’ve said, or think that a friend needs help, please get in touch with a support organisation like Women’s Aid, you can talk honestly and they’ll believe you; and most of all, feel like you are not alone.
Thank you.
If you are suffering from Emotional Abuse or know someone who is, call the Police on 0845 600 5701 or the National domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 027 1234 (24hr).
Domestic Abuse and Violence Against Women Partnership – Working Together with Alive Radio 107.3
Morag Halliday, the Age Scotland development officer for the area, visited the pupils at their school to say thank you personally and explain how their hard work would benefit older people in their community.
